Not always, not every time, but in the heat of suffering consider this. I am fighting myself when I fight others. The original meaning of suffering was to undergo your journey in the dark of the soul. It was considered wise to allow this journey to occur for it produced great wisdom and clarity. It turns the attention away from an external foe or opposer and allows us to offer victory to others and accept defeat for ourselves. Why would you do that?
When you step out of the field of battle the soul becomes your source. Up until then it is the ego that shouts loudly, bangs the drum, sings the songs of victory. Subtle it may be, but it is perfectly possible to be engaged in a dispute and yet not be battling.
Get a grip on the daily battles of life. Practice surrender in the domestic and the personal. Smile at yourself, arguing over the minutiae of daily living. Accept defeat in the little lessons of life and you will be less likely to engage in an unholy war within yourself. Lay down your weapons. See? There is such sweetness in surrender to your true self.