Cut yourself some slack today

Did you know some of the greatest discoveries came when people let go and dreamed?

If you have the habit of hard work, I commend you.  If you can also balance that with regular dream time I commend you even more.  Generally we work to a schedule that promotes productivity in the outer world.  We often work in organisations that measure that productivity and pay us accordingly.

If this true of you then build your dream time into your leisure and wait for the amazing results it will produce for you.  Dream time is when you goof off, cut yourself some slack and let yourself experience that magical inner world of the creative imagination.  Burn out occurs in people who have lost the art of dream time.  Their minds have taken over the show.  They become driven, often punishing themselves and others around them with their tough schedules.  Empathy and wisdom do not thrive in that environment.  Fear and anxiety do.

So make yourself a promise today to goof off for half an hour.  Take the time to do something you really love and haven’t done for ages.  Get more rest that you think you need and take the time to remind yourself of your dreams.  Remember that inner world has immense potential to help you on life’s journey so engage with it today.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –




Being present boosts your power

3 ways to increase your energy day by day

Everyone is talking about mindfulness and being present these days so here are some top tips from my box of tricks that will help you understand and gain an experience of being present in the here and now so you can release unlimited energy into your life when you need it.

1 Use your smart phone to remind you to take three deep breaths. Just put a daily repeat note into your diary with a big smiley icon.  Why the icon?  Because laughter and humour are great ways to overcome the ego which wants you to think about the past and worry about the future.  It hates humour.  Humour is known as the ‘ego override’ in my business (being a teacher of things spiritual and mystical). Conscious breathing is free, easy and incredibly powerful.  Try it today. Do three deep breaths every hour and write down how you feel afterwards.

2 Don’t just sit there feeling tired. Your essential daily energy is endless.  If you suffer from tiredness that is not to do with physical activity, it is likely to be down to a lack of Presence in your life.  Presence is the power of being focused gently on what is going on right now.  Include in a sense of your body (body awareness) and a feeling that you are not alone.  Spooky?  Not at all. It is simply your expanded awareness of the WHOLE of you which you normally miss because all your energy is focused outwards. So take time everyday to reconnect to your wider self.  Stretch, meditate, breathe and laugh.  All of these will draw on your amazing resources of energy.  So next time you feel tired and need energy you know what to do!

3  Go to bed an hour earlier every night for a week.  Yes, I know there are a million reasons why you can’t do this but just for the sake of argument, how do you think it would help you?  Are you sleep deprived?  Do you normally wake up refreshed and ready to go?  I think I can hear you all saying a loud ‘I wish’ so let’s do something about it.  Just for seven nights use your smart phone, put in an alarm for one hour earlier, then tell your flatmates, family, children, whoever, that you are doing an experiment for sleep research.  Well, you are, because I want to hear back from you so I know if this is working for you or not.  Try it and see.  Notice the resistance to doing it.  Write a diary and note down how you felt.  After a week let me know how it went for you.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.  Read her book on Innerbody Wisdom available on Amazon.








Mis-taking Myself for Someone Else

Do you ever hear yourself say ‘I am so not myself today’?

{Please feel free to post, like, comment and generally distribute theses blogposts out into that wonderful but unseen digital world where someone you know might like them!}

That happens when we make mistakes or get it wrong or generally mess up.  The excuse we give ourselves is that the essential ‘me’ has gone walkabout. Nearly everyone I know makes a mistake a minute or something in that order.  The trick is to turn your mistakes into your learning companions.  They are, after all, only actions you and I don’t think are acceptable or don’t measure up to the image we have of ourselves.

Every day write down these embarrassing and awful mistakes in your diary.  You will laugh when you read them back a year later.  Very few mistakes are unredeemable.  You can get ahead of the critical voice in your head by affirming ‘that was a useful experience, and I won’t do that again any day soon’.  Suffer yourself lovingly to take a risk, make a creative leap and generally ‘get it wrong’ from time to time.  You and I learn so much more that way and experience ourselves more fully.  Live on, people, it is all just a big experiment anyway.





Why you always come off worst…

Sometimes we compare ourselves to others.

The reason we always come off worst is this.  If we feel lesser or poorer or sadder in comparison our life energies dwindle fast.  If we feel smug or luckier, or just plain wonderful in comparison, our egos have taken over and our judgement is out the window!

You know me well enough by now.  I only write about what I have experienced in one way or another.  Come on, Frances, I hear you say, we all do that comparison stuff so how do we stop?  How do we get back our energy and compassion and stop behaving like small children who don’t feel loved?

For starters, just notice when we do it.  This is powerful medicine.  We create change in our lives from deep awareness, not wishing things to be different or trying harder or going on courses and reading books.  Those things help, of course, but learning skills needs to be allied with powerful ‘noticing what I am doing’ in order to create lasting changes to age old habits of the personality.  There is no easy fix.


How to Say No When You Need To

When Saying No is Kinder

This week choose one thing you want to say no to and prepare to say NO!

Not all of us are equipped with steely wills and adamantine discipline.  To get through the work of the week we may often need to say no.  Is that a problem for you?  Me to.  It seems so much easier just to give in and agree.  But often that is counter productive and will land us with a load of extra trouble later on.

How do we change this pattern?  We start with ourselves.  Saying no internally at the right moment can be enormously powerful.  It sets us up to know what we want and what we don’t.  The why’s and wherefore’s come later. Just focus on that inner feeling that tells you No is the answer right now.  Or if that moment passes you by, just focus on the moment missed when you wanted to say no to yourself.  Slowing down our responses enables us to gain control over important issues and habits that are not longer serving our goals in life.

Choosing for ourselves and creating clear boundaries is a lifetimes’ work so why not begin now? As you are clear with yourself so you become clear to others.  As you care for and support your own energies so you become able to show others how to do that too.







Are you in your Comfort Zone?

Comfort zones are fine and wonderful things but…

Take a look at your life right now.  Are you a go-getter living on the edge or, like most of us, do you have a fairly humdrum life sprinkled with occasional highlights?

Just knowing when I am in my comfort zone and cruising is very helpful to me.  Take the time now to assess your day.  Comfort zones run mainly on habit, feel comfortable, don’t take too much energy and help us through the chores of the day.  Challenging ourselves can feel uncomfortable, edgy and emotionally draining.  All our survival instincts tell us to just get through without asking if what we are doing is helping us live our truth.

What is the Growth Edge? – that little ledge of being where we feel truly alive, challenging our daily lives, risking to live the dream, facing our negative habits, seeing what is holding us back and getting the help we need.

Take time today to assess where you are in your life and in your dreams of what could be.  You can go there.  You were meant to.




How Kind Are You?

It is wise to be kind!

So let’s start now.

Take this moment to whisper to yourself  ‘it’s ok to be kind to me, whatever is happening in my life’.

Feel the kindness inside of you that is there to help you in your challenges today.  Did you know that if you physically feel the kindness inside of you each day you are 95% more likely to be kind to those you love?  Only kidding, I made that up, but it works for me.

Put your hand on your heart and breathe into it.  Feel it beating inside you.  Yes, that is your very own and unique heart in there.  We hardly ever think about the inside world of our physical existence or how it can help us. But being in touch with that hidden world can help us feel more connected and therefore more compassionate. 

Please try it and let me know if it works for you, and leave me a comment and share this post.  Thanks.  Have a very kind day.

When you never stop…

You lose sight of who you really are.

Did you know that in the gap between one breath and another there is a gateway to your true self?  Amazing, isn’t it, that we fail to notice that more often than not.  Yet that connection to our most profound and universal self is the place to start the day, the week the month and the lifetime if you want to be awake to your own destiny.  And who doesn’t want to know the ultimate reason they were born?  Just knowing the gateway to your inner self exists is enough to trigger a whole series of events that will put you back on your true path.  Want to connect more? Pause, breathe, smile.  That’s all.  Your intention to connect will do the rest.  Have a wonderful day.

Read my book for more stories of the hidden world within you.


Awareness is the key to change for you

Pause, breathe, become very aware of the habit itself

I trained for a while in Alexander Technique looking at habits of posture that are so ingrained we can’t detect them ourselves. And what was Alexander saying? Pause, breathe, become very aware and the habit itself will change.Awareness is the key to changing habits. I prefer to talk about habits evolving.

Eckhart Tolle is also very interesting on this subject. He mentions the will power most of us think we need to diet, work harder etc and how this will power is ego based and will eventually fail us. Very interesting eh? So all this business of trying harder and head down, concentrate that we are taught at school could be counter productive if that is all we do.

The secret is to pause and breathe when you notice an unhelpful habit (like putting off writing or editing) Then spend a moment or two noticing how you feel, in the body not in your head! Be kind. Be aware. Have humour about your habit. Now it is going to change. The ego cannot resist humour and awareness and nor can our habits.

PS  we also have very good and necessary habits. Think how long it would take us to get out of bed if we had to tell each muscle when to move. Our wise bodies also have habits that help us through our days.