When it hurts, choose to be present

It can get messy, life!

We want to be happy.  That is pretty well it.  Life, of course, presents us with many unhappy circumstances.  How do we set about dealing with these challenges?

1 Scream and shout and blame someone else

2 Grumble that you shouldn’t have to deal with this.  Also called the ‘Why me syndrome’

3 Give up and get depressed

You and I have already repeated 1-3 many times.   Let’s try something else, shall we?

Notice the patterns.  When 1-3 occur again, write down what you experience.  Don’t get hard on yourself.  Punishments tend to worsen the crime not make it go away.

Today begin the new reaction.  Begin to notice and be very present with your behaviour.  Be curious about it.  Don’t dismiss or hide it.  True change begins with awareness.  Seek professional help if you need it.  Talk to others who are experienced in this area.  Read the books.  Your life, your precious being, are your true work this lifetime.

 

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.

To book a  coaching session  on Skype email her:

 frances@innerbodywisdom.co.uk

To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

 

 

How to avoid unnecessary dramas

Be the watcher in your life

Having a few too many dramas lately?  Wondering who to blame and how to get back a sense of balance and sanity?

Take a moment and sit with your hands resting on your lap.  What I am going to tell you will reduce your life dramas significantly.

The dramas we create each day come from our ego self – the bit of me and you that thinks the world is a tough and ugly place full of difficult people.  Ego thinks in terms of threat, competition, crisis, manipulation and winning at all costs.

How you change that drama inducing scenario is by becoming the Watcher of your mind and ego activity.  You begin by sitting quietly for five minutes a day and observing the thoughts in your mind as they pass through.  That shows you the program Ego is currently running as a background app to your life.  It is powerful.  It is subversive.  It will run your life if you let it.  Don’t.

Instead take the training course that means you become the Watcher in your life.  Five minutes a day is a small price to pay to regain control over the dramas.  They simply slow down and then stop once you take the immense step of observing your thoughts and daily actions.  And if the dramas continue?

Bless them.  They are the clearest message you will ever have that you are an unconscious human being.  All of humanity is on a pathway to consciousness.  That is our evolutionary pattern.  Your choice to wake up and be a conscious being – is it going to be now or later?

If you chose later as your option your ego made that choice.  The ego imagines we have a future.  It depends on it.  In reality we have this moment and this moment alone to be the consciousness that is love without end.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of sharing Innerbody Wisdom.

To book a  coaching session  on Skype email her:

 frances@innerbodywisdom.co.uk

To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

 

 

 

 

Relationship crisis on the horizon?

What to do when life is horrible

It happens to us all – that wonderful love life collapses, your partner turns into an ogre, you stop loving your job.  Whatever the circumstances we all suffer in a crisis.  But what if you knew, deep down, that every crisis holds the possibility for transformation?  Yes, a crisis holds danger for us – it threatens our wellbeing, our security and our sense of self.  But at its core, a crisis is inviting change.

What if I were to tell you that you can invoke profound energies within yourself to help you?  That you and I cannot find peace and intimacy through our little ego selves but we can open the door to our amazing inner zone of peace?

Firstly, we need to sit down with the problem, on our own.  Why alone?  Because we have to OWN the situation and we can only do that when alone and deeply focused.  Once we allow ourselves to feel the deep sadness and pain we are then able to accept the facts.  Write down what has happened.  Don’t allow the pain to overcome you.  Your pain body will rise up and swallow you if you allow it.  Breathe deeply.  Because at this point of profound acceptance of how things are, you are invoking the power of your inner wisdom.  You cannot decide to be happy or peaceful or content.  You know that.  You have been grasping after those things for years.  But now you have opened the inner door that will allow the grace and kindness and love inside your ancient self to arise.

Humanity is in crisis.  The world we live in is suffering from the ego dominated madness of the human mind.  Take this crisis and acknowlege the danger but know also, that it holds the profound seeds of change for the evolution of the human race.  Your pain is part of this story and your ability to allow transformation in your own world is a significant act of healing for us all.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.

To book a  coaching session  on Skype email her:

 frances@innerbodywisdom.co.uk

To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

I can’t stop thinking – it’s driving me mad

The biggest disease on this planet is overthinking

Let’s imagine you are sitting in bed having woken up.  You don’t feel rested or even happy.  Your mind has started up already with its endless thoughts.  But something in you knows this and is watching helplessly from the sidelines.  What to do?

That something is the real you, the wise observer that lies quietly behind everything you know yourself to be.  It is not helpless – that is just the message your mind is sending you.  So how to cure yourself of this dis-ease of the mind?  Take a moment now.  Switch your awareness away from this blogpost.  Put it instead on your breathing.  Yes, you know all this stuff already, but are you activating it in a dynamic and healing way?

Many of us know about watching the breath but how many of us do it during the day?

Here is my tip – imagine your breath is your friend and you want to say hello to your friend regularly.  Your friend is your support and your lifeline and literally, your very life itself.  You remember to breath knowingly and soon you are doing it without needing to place all your attention on it.  You begin to breathe consciously throughout the day and it warms and illuminates you.  Your mind starts to slow down.  It just can’t compete with your friendly breath.  It may try to hook you into your doubts, fears and guilt but when you notice that happening go to your breath and feel the warmth and comfort that lies there for you.

And what of the mind then?   It becomes a helpful servant, available to make lists and solve problems, but it no longer dominates.  The lack of ease experienced by most people, that can result in illness, is down to the epidemic of overthinking that has developed into the madness of our world today.

Choose not to be a part of  it.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of sharing Innerbody Wisdom.

To book a coaching session  on Skype email her: frances@innerbodywisdom.co.uk

To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

What to do in a crisis to help yourself

Why life goes pear shaped sometimes

Check this out – are you more focused on your outer material world than the inner world?Has that material world swallowed you whole like a fish? Then I can guarantee that is why a crisis has come up in your life.  Because?

Because our reason for being born is to reconnect to the Self who we really are and believe me,you are not going to find it in the material life, the everyday, the needy ego struggling to get more money, put food on the table and keep the car on the road.  No, so we get given a crisis from time to time to wake us up.  The crisis is calling a halt to the normal run of things.  It is guaranteed to stir you up and probably give you a hard time.

What to do?  Take a step back.  You need to assess the situation.  Breathe deeply into your belly and take your awareness into your body.  This takes practice, so please do not wait for your next crisis to practice this.  Do it now.  You need to establish a connection with your inner self, the one who you have neglected and forgotten all about.  Do this several times a day.  Begin to experience a sense of something deep and peaceful inside your being that is normally covered up with doing things, getting things, getting rid of things, planning how to get things and worrying about the past.  Once you get a sliver of a sense of that huge and lovely inner being that you really are you have opened the door for help, sustenance, kindness and protection.  Work at it.  It is a relationship and you need to pay attention to develop it.  Neglect it and you will lose this dimension of the divine and feel a deep sense of loss.  Some clients tell me they have had this lingering sense of loss and sadness since forever and nothing seems to fill the gap.  Well, of course not.  The stuff we desperately fill our lives with is not meant to fill the gap.   Initially relationships and material goods and experiences feel great but it all wears off eventually, doesn’t it?

So life forces us back on ourselves and we turn inwards to find what was always right there.  It was always right there because we are that peace, love and kindness we have all been searching for and not finding outside of ourselves.  The miracle is, as soon as a person turns their eye inwards and reconnects to the soul of their being, they start to express this wonderful energy and to attract it outside of themselves.  Miracles happen.  Life takes on a meaning and value that completes us.  We undergo our painful crises with a watchful eye – the eye of wisdom and knowing.  Our crises no longer take us over.  We acknowledge the patterns and rhythms of life and respect the outer world.  We are not here on earth to control the material world, but to live in it with wisdom and kindness and this is only possible when we have reconnected to the profound energies within our very own being.

Start today.  Their is no tomorrow in this story.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

Heap a little happiness into your life today

Growing up is discovering that happiness is not out there but inside me

Can you sweet talk a little happiness into your life?  Certainly, but only when you have accepted that happiness does not arise from out there, from your lover friends family dog or money.  It may look like it.  That is the illusion we suffer as humans.  In believing that others, or things, can make us happy we give away our power to the very illusion that destroys our peace of mind.

So here is what to do right now.  No1 start to take responsibility for turning inwards to find happiness.  In fact happiness arises anyway as soon as you focus away from the material world.  You can still live in the world but you stop buying into the illusion that there is nothing else in life.

No 2 develop a daily ritual to remind yourself of the ‘otherness’ of life.  Take a quiet walk and focus on how you feel.  Don’t have a conversation about it.  Simply place your attention on your feelings.  Your body is a wonderful pathway to the ‘otherness’ where happiness arises.

No 4 Oh did I skip one?  Well that’s the one you find for yourself because no-one is going to do this journey to recover happiness for you.  Have the mind of an explorer who suspects that wonderful worlds exist but they don’t have a map for it.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

Peace arises when we stop thinking

Give your mind a rest this Easter

How to do this when our minds are so active?  It all sounds such a good idea and I would love to experience more peace and contentment, says one of my clients yesterday.  How can I achieve this?  How come you are so chilled?

What I am going to share with you is very easy to do.  It is a natural function of all humans.  We are born with this capacity.

To experience peace inside at a deep level of being, focus your attention on your body for three breaths.  Notice your mind trying like mad to think, to restore its command over you.   Minds are needy.  They get cross like a two year old if you don’t pay them attention. But like a small child, minds operate best in clear boundaries with constant repetition of those boundaries.

Do this at odd moments, in a queue, when washing up, when getting into the car.  Don’t think about it, just take three breaths and smile into your feet, your hands, your back, your belly.  Try it now.  Now is the time to do this.  Not tomorrow, not in an hour. Now.

Once you re-establish the habit of body awareness you will experience more peace in your life.  Body awareness and thinking are not mutually exclusive, as the experts among you know.  You can reach a state of body awareness where thinking is possible but does not take over the whole show and obliterate the sense of profound inner peace.  Notice how the quality of your thinking then supports good decisions, wise actions and a kind heart.

 

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

To book a Skype session with Frances please email her.  Sessions cost £40 an hour.

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

Of course you are afraid!

What can I do?

Just by accepting we are human and vulnerable will help.  Take a deep breath and say ‘it’s OK, I can deal with this.’

We are human and vulnerable and very much alive.  But we are more than that.  We are divine beings of light and humour and wisdom.

There is a reason why the word HUMAN and HUMOUR are so close – because we need humour to lighten our burdens, to remind us of who we really are.  When we lose our sense of humour we are unable to access the profound inner wisdom of our deepest selves.  That place of wisdom, deep within us, can be accessed through laughter and breathing, through movement and voice.

Get up, stretch, look out of the window.  Smile (even if it through gritted teeth) and agree that you will find a way through.  If the situation demands help, get it.  Act today to right the wrongs in your life  Even sitting down and writing it down in a notebook can relieve the pressures. Inactivity and the feeling of being stuck often go together.  Spend a little more time in your inner world of dream, vision, fantasy.  Maybe you just forgot who you really are?  Don’t rely on others to validate your ‘good’ – validate it for yourself everyday.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Useful advice when the critics hit you

Written by Eric C., MA., PhD Candidate (USA) Founder of: MakeItUltra™ “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” ~Dale Carnegie My fiancé can’t stand the way I drive. I, of course, do not agree with her criticism and defend my driving skills as if I […]

via 5 Easy Steps to Accept Criticism — MakeItUltra™

When nothing works for you

Take heart -life and all its mysteries are waiting for you to wake up

The hard times often come before a great change, a revelation about someone you love or the easing of circumstances.  When in doubt and fear of life and all its challenges try this age old remedy.

Change one small thing in your everyday routine and do this for seven days

Make it something easy to do and do it first thing in the morning

Use your voice and body – open your arms and say ‘I am ready for life’instead of turning over and wishing you could go back to sleep

Write three sentences about your problems then close your eyes and say ‘I am going to get the help I need today’

You don’t have to feel good or be happy to create changes in your life.

You do need to do something different if you want to change things.

Make those changes very small and consistent then wait for the bigger change.

Your sense of who you are and what you really need in life will come to you.

When we ‘wake up’ to the power we have within us to change we uncover the wisdom of the innerbeing, the part of us that can lie dormant all our lives if we do not open ourselves up to change.

Operate from a position of welcoming change and inviting challenge.  Don’t use age or illness as an excuse.  They are situations, not labels to stop us growing.  I didn’t say it would be easy.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk