Third party Insurance – emotional rescues

Does it work when you try to sort others out?

I get people who try to refer their partners to me for a session – and it very rarely works out.  Or they want their grown up children to get help.  Or it’s their parent or friend.  I love a referral but I need to speak directly to the person concerned – not via a third party.

When you notice yourself trying to sort out other people’s problems, stop and ask yourself:  Is this person an adult?  Are they physically and mentally able to communicate themselves?

Hard though it may be to step back, it is often the most powerful thing to do (emergencies excepted of course).  By suggesting a course of action we show concern.  But if we try to ‘organise’ a course of action for someone else it often fails because it is not empowering for them.  They may feel like you know the answers and they don’t.  So step back.  Let them come to you for advice by all means and share your opinions wisely.  Then take a deep breath and climb back into your own energy, your own power and sense of self.  This offers the other person a space to breathe themselves.

The most powerful and healing tool in the work I do is the power of my own Presence (my achingly alive awareness of the present moment and of the profound inner self who speaks through me at these times).  Cultivate your own sense of Presence.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.

To book a  coaching session  on Skype email her:

 frances@innerbodywisdom.co.uk

To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

Do you get irritable and annoyed with yourself?

Tough day?  Could be you are suffering from your inner critic.

Just one of those days?  or  a repeating pattern in your life.  It’s just how I am – or could I change this pattern of irritation and annoyance?

Your inner critic is a learned response to stress.  I bet you had a critical mum or dad (and bless them, because they were doing their best and so are you.)

Let’s see if we can work out what the pay off is.  Say to yourself ‘When I criticise myself it …..’  Could be in a strange way it relieves the tension for a moment (but does it create more in the long term?)  Could be it is a habit – something you do as a displacement activity when you can’t grasp a task or haven’t the energy to work out a solution.

Once you realise that this inner critic saps life energy and can become a habit that sends you on a downward spiral you may decide to observe it more closely.  Let it rip – do not try and stop it or it will go underground to emerge even stronger.  Get help from a trained therapist.  Talk to a good and wise friend.  Notice if anyone in your circle of family and friends is also critical of you.  What is inside of us tends to get reflected outside too.  The universe is there to help us see ourselves for the radiant beings of light we truly are.  The inner critic is the voice of ignorance and despair.  Would you want that to continue on and on in your mind space?  No, I thought not.  By observing the inner critic you are stopping sending it unconscious energy.  You are reversing a habit that is unhelpful.  You are gaining self knowledge.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.

To book a  coaching session  on Skype email her:

 frances@innerbodywisdom.co.uk

To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

I can’t stop thinking – it’s driving me mad

The biggest disease on this planet is overthinking

Let’s imagine you are sitting in bed having woken up.  You don’t feel rested or even happy.  Your mind has started up already with its endless thoughts.  But something in you knows this and is watching helplessly from the sidelines.  What to do?

That something is the real you, the wise observer that lies quietly behind everything you know yourself to be.  It is not helpless – that is just the message your mind is sending you.  So how to cure yourself of this dis-ease of the mind?  Take a moment now.  Switch your awareness away from this blogpost.  Put it instead on your breathing.  Yes, you know all this stuff already, but are you activating it in a dynamic and healing way?

Many of us know about watching the breath but how many of us do it during the day?

Here is my tip – imagine your breath is your friend and you want to say hello to your friend regularly.  Your friend is your support and your lifeline and literally, your very life itself.  You remember to breath knowingly and soon you are doing it without needing to place all your attention on it.  You begin to breathe consciously throughout the day and it warms and illuminates you.  Your mind starts to slow down.  It just can’t compete with your friendly breath.  It may try to hook you into your doubts, fears and guilt but when you notice that happening go to your breath and feel the warmth and comfort that lies there for you.

And what of the mind then?   It becomes a helpful servant, available to make lists and solve problems, but it no longer dominates.  The lack of ease experienced by most people, that can result in illness, is down to the epidemic of overthinking that has developed into the madness of our world today.

Choose not to be a part of  it.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of sharing Innerbody Wisdom.

To book a coaching session  on Skype email her: frances@innerbodywisdom.co.uk

To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

Of course you are afraid!

What can I do?

Just by accepting we are human and vulnerable will help.  Take a deep breath and say ‘it’s OK, I can deal with this.’

We are human and vulnerable and very much alive.  But we are more than that.  We are divine beings of light and humour and wisdom.

There is a reason why the word HUMAN and HUMOUR are so close – because we need humour to lighten our burdens, to remind us of who we really are.  When we lose our sense of humour we are unable to access the profound inner wisdom of our deepest selves.  That place of wisdom, deep within us, can be accessed through laughter and breathing, through movement and voice.

Get up, stretch, look out of the window.  Smile (even if it through gritted teeth) and agree that you will find a way through.  If the situation demands help, get it.  Act today to right the wrongs in your life  Even sitting down and writing it down in a notebook can relieve the pressures. Inactivity and the feeling of being stuck often go together.  Spend a little more time in your inner world of dream, vision, fantasy.  Maybe you just forgot who you really are?  Don’t rely on others to validate your ‘good’ – validate it for yourself everyday.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let go of the Grouch in you

How do I swop a negative mind for something better?

Try this:  when you wake up in the morning and your mind starts up, buzz whirr clank, notice what Grouch is saying to you.  Grouch is the habitual mind that just chuggs along in the background.  Watch out because this habitual mind is controlling important life decisions more than you know!

Ok we got that.  We all live by habit and some habits help and some hinder.  So how do I let go of Grouch and why is it important for me?

Unless we notice we have no choice over the habits that rule us.  Mind likes to recreate past events even when they are bad.  Mind does not like creativity and change and risk.  It wants you to do the same things even when you know they are harming you and the world around you.  The secret to noticing is to slow down from time to time and breathe deeply.  This may feel uncomfortable and mind will send you a message that its all rubbish and just to get on because you have so much to do.  Mind likes to keep us busy so we don’t notice it is in control.

Why does it feel uncomfortable when I stop my busy day and try to focus inwards?  Why is reconnecting to my real self so hard?

Because the mind is a constructed self, a false self that we think is us.  Mind wants to be in control, to control everything in fact.  So if you have a controlling personality it is not really you, it is the mind inside you that you think is you.  When you step back from the controlling mind for a few minutes it feels edgy and odd to begin with.  This is the mind sending you messages to get you hooked back in to the false self.  Ignore them.  Keep breathing gently.  Notice how your body feels because when you are focused on your body the mind cannot be in control and you get a gateway into your real, profound, creative self.  And that is life affirming, brimming with wisdom, full of the incredible light beyond knowing.  That is the real you, not the Grouch.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

 

 

Daily Inspiration – Opportunities are Blessings — Be Inspired..!!

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings” ~Henry Ward Beecher Our daily lives are filled with delays, missed opportunities, setbacks, and outright nuisances. It happens to us all. However bad a circumstance seems and feels, it could always be worse. It may seem unnatural and perhaps […]

via Daily Inspiration – Opportunities are Blessings — Be Inspired..!!

Daily Dose of Inspiration – Take Action — Be Inspired..!!

Take a moment and imagine that you’re at the end of your life and have a chance to give your current self some advice. What would you say? Many people find themselves saying things like “spend more time on the things that really matter”. But how often do we actually stop to think about which things […]

via Daily Dose of Inspiration – Take Action — Be Inspired..!!

Having one of those days?

Reach out to a friend or colleague.

When the going gets tough, which it will at some point, reach out to friends.  Don’t stew in the anxious thoughts and bad memories.  Go slow, take your time.  Life is not a race to be won and you will not lose out by slowing down.  Just try it. That break for a phone call could be the solution.

Human beings have a fabulous ability to understand and be compassionate with each other.  If the people around you are not doing that then move on and find some new friends and colleagues.  Remember to be kind and forgive them when you do move on.  

Are you stuck and feel you can’t move on at the moment?  Then acknowledge this to yourself and write down the reasons why.  Then make a plan of one thing a day you can do to ease the situation while you work out how to let go of the life that does not nourish your soul.  Tell at least one trustworthy friend or colleague how you feel.  Visit your doctor and ask for help.  Finally, close your eyes and ask your guardian angel, the Higher Power (insert your preferred name here) for the life you want. You will be amazed how quickly things can change when you trust the profound inner resources available to every human being.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

 

 

Mis-taking Myself for Someone Else

Do you ever hear yourself say ‘I am so not myself today’?

{Please feel free to post, like, comment and generally distribute theses blogposts out into that wonderful but unseen digital world where someone you know might like them!}

That happens when we make mistakes or get it wrong or generally mess up.  The excuse we give ourselves is that the essential ‘me’ has gone walkabout. Nearly everyone I know makes a mistake a minute or something in that order.  The trick is to turn your mistakes into your learning companions.  They are, after all, only actions you and I don’t think are acceptable or don’t measure up to the image we have of ourselves.

Every day write down these embarrassing and awful mistakes in your diary.  You will laugh when you read them back a year later.  Very few mistakes are unredeemable.  You can get ahead of the critical voice in your head by affirming ‘that was a useful experience, and I won’t do that again any day soon’.  Suffer yourself lovingly to take a risk, make a creative leap and generally ‘get it wrong’ from time to time.  You and I learn so much more that way and experience ourselves more fully.  Live on, people, it is all just a big experiment anyway.

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

 

 

 

Why you always come off worst…

Sometimes we compare ourselves to others.

The reason we always come off worst is this.  If we feel lesser or poorer or sadder in comparison our life energies dwindle fast.  If we feel smug or luckier, or just plain wonderful in comparison, our egos have taken over and our judgement is out the window!

You know me well enough by now.  I only write about what I have experienced in one way or another.  Come on, Frances, I hear you say, we all do that comparison stuff so how do we stop?  How do we get back our energy and compassion and stop behaving like small children who don’t feel loved?

For starters, just notice when we do it.  This is powerful medicine.  We create change in our lives from deep awareness, not wishing things to be different or trying harder or going on courses and reading books.  Those things help, of course, but learning skills needs to be allied with powerful ‘noticing what I am doing’ in order to create lasting changes to age old habits of the personality.  There is no easy fix.

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk