How to Say No When You Need To

When Saying No is Kinder

This week choose one thing you want to say no to and prepare to say NO!

Not all of us are equipped with steely wills and adamantine discipline.  To get through the work of the week we may often need to say no.  Is that a problem for you?  Me to.  It seems so much easier just to give in and agree.  But often that is counter productive and will land us with a load of extra trouble later on.

How do we change this pattern?  We start with ourselves.  Saying no internally at the right moment can be enormously powerful.  It sets us up to know what we want and what we don’t.  The why’s and wherefore’s come later. Just focus on that inner feeling that tells you No is the answer right now.  Or if that moment passes you by, just focus on the moment missed when you wanted to say no to yourself.  Slowing down our responses enables us to gain control over important issues and habits that are not longer serving our goals in life.

Choosing for ourselves and creating clear boundaries is a lifetimes’ work so why not begin now? As you are clear with yourself so you become clear to others.  As you care for and support your own energies so you become able to show others how to do that too.







When you never stop…

You lose sight of who you really are.

Did you know that in the gap between one breath and another there is a gateway to your true self?  Amazing, isn’t it, that we fail to notice that more often than not.  Yet that connection to our most profound and universal self is the place to start the day, the week the month and the lifetime if you want to be awake to your own destiny.  And who doesn’t want to know the ultimate reason they were born?  Just knowing the gateway to your inner self exists is enough to trigger a whole series of events that will put you back on your true path.  Want to connect more? Pause, breathe, smile.  That’s all.  Your intention to connect will do the rest.  Have a wonderful day.

Read my book for more stories of the hidden world within you.


Good Morning Wales!

How do you greet your day?  

It just so happens that I live in the magic of Wales (or Cymru which is its correct name in Welsh). But wherever you live and how ever life is treating you, how you greet the day can radically change the way you see your world.

Maybe that inner dialogue just takes over from yesterday. When that happens the moment of magic every morning is stolen by our habit of letting the mind rule us.  Sometimes words just don’t come – it is more of a grunt!  I have been there.  Tiredness and a lack of doing what you love in life is a real deadener of the spirit within and that can begin the very moment you wake up.

So here are my tips for recovering your joy in life and regaining respect for yourself.

  • Allow an extra 5 minutes every day to wake up and greet the morning energy.  If you have children waking you up, teach them to say thank you and dance a few steps to celebrate the new day.  They will love it!
  • If you are lying there with all the problems of the day rolling past you in your mind, laugh.  Laugh heartily.  The mind cannot stand humour and your thoughts will decrease.  It is your life.  You choose what you focus on and what you don’t.
  • As you sit up and engage with the day, open your arms wide and breathe deeply.  This is ancient and symbolic behaviour which may earn you a few strange looks! It represents your ability to open to new and exciting things coming into your world.  Did you know that it isn’t ‘out there’ that is the problem?  Out there has no power over you if you are deeply connected to your life force from the start of the day.

Problems arrive and then go.  Days roll by.  All we have is our human consciousness and ability to choose.  So choose to greet your day and let me know how that feels for you.  I love feedback and likes!







When life is relentless

Take a break from thinking.

Have you tried that already but it didn’t work? And anyway, why would it help in my situation? Perhaps there is not one moment in the day when you are alone and then all you want to do is sleep? (mums, I salute you and I know what that is like).

So here is a way to stop those thoughts and restore your energy reserves (yes, continual thoughts and an ever present inner dialogue are very exhausting)

  • Begin right now with a deep breath.  Don’t rush it. Take it slowly.  Now thank your body for breathing you alive every day.
  • Now do this while you load the washing machine/wash up/check your emails
  • Breathe consciously ten times a day for the next seven days and make a note of when you did it. (A mental note is good, a written diary sheet of conscious breaths is even better)
  • WATCH OUT  for these results – less anxiety about your future and your family, more energy when you wake up, less thoughts chasing in your head, a strange calmness in difficult situations.

Why do we experience such profound changes when we pause in our daily routine and do something so utterly simple as just take a conscious breath?

  • we break the habits of a lifetime
  • we gain conscious control over our reactions to outer situations even if we cannot change the situations themselves
  • we recover quickly when we ‘lose it’ and get angry or upset
  • we experience Presence – the experience of being in a greater power than our little selves which is the foundation of all human life

If you found this article helpful, please share it and leave a comment below for me. Thank you.



Do you ‘Yoyo’?

Are you caught in the cycle of over focusing on your goals and then feeling hopeless about achieving them? Here’s a few tips to help you find that balance that allows progress and celebration to be tempered with realistic goals and self-awareness.

  • Start your day with quiet time, even though your inner dialogue is right there in your ear, feeding you with things to do.  Five minutes every day sitting with that inner dialogue eventually quietens it and you will access the deeper wisdom that lies beneath the mind.
  •  Know that the energy you perform your daily tasks in is more important that the tasks themselves.  Your ego will not like this one bit.  This is why in the ancient teachings it did not matter if you were a king or a street sweeper so long as you engaged with your deeper knowing in your daily tasks.
  • Practice being self aware.  Self awareness is not selfish and egotistical, it is the exact opposite.  It is taking a breath, one easy breath, to notice how you feel and to be aware of your body and its presence in space.  The ego contracts us and our world, makes us lose focus and the broader picture.  Being self aware allows us to expand and feel more spacious and compassionate.

Can you see it now?  That yoyo was your mind, lifting you up and dumping you back down again.  How thankful we can be that beyond mind we are the eternal peace of all beings in all worlds.  Please share if this was helpful to you and leave me a comment below if you have any questions.

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Do the problems go away?

I am a great fan of Being Present with my Problems – that is the mantra I hum. Whatever the block or the hold up or the lack, I breathe into my body and pause. All those problems are out there, in that concrete world of materialism most of the time. Or in here, in my mind, thinking about them.

To release myself from the grip of these constructed problems I return to conscious awareness of the Presence. Do the problems go away? Do they heck! But at least I am now aligned with my power and presence and able to respond in a much wiser way, rather than overreacting and responding with negativity.


Are you a spiritual teacher?

Yes.  I can tell you now that you definately are.

 Whether or not you are conscious of it is another matter.  Everyday life proves to us that each and every one of us is a teacher.  We learn from each other every day. IBW bookcover Amazon We go to school, college, take a job, learn from our friends and family and so on.

So what makes us spiritual teachers and why?

Beyond the everyday perception of the world as we know it lies the hidden wisdom beyond knowing.  You will have experienced it for sure.  I never met anyone who had not experienced a moment of insight or ‘knowing’ beyond the rational mind.  Whatever your explanation for that knowing beyond mind, it is a signpost that you are able to reclaim that hidden world while remaining firmly in this reality.

To become aware of  and to share your inner wisdom from this hidden world beyond knowing is to be a spiritual teacher.  

You may not choose to call yourself that.  There are many wise men and women in the world who live from the core of their beings without needing to call themselves a spiritual teacher.

So why is it important to recognise the spiritual teacher within each and everyone of us?

Because being able to reconnect to our profound inner wisdom is one of the ways we can bring about change and peace in our world today.  No one can dispute that these are troubled times on earth.  That profound inner wisdom exists within all beings on this earth.  Reconnecting ourselves and others to the spiritual resources within us is one way we can bring about the changes in evolution that our future depends on.

 By recognising yourself and others as spiritual beings and teachers you profoundly change the consciousness of  human beings.


Will I forget my true nature?  Of course, I am only human.  Will awareness return?  Certainly.  Is it a joy to be consciously aware?  Absolutely. Will my awareness of that other realm of being help others?  Yes, that is my experience. It also changes the outcome of our past actions and creates a powerful presence that others may find very helpful.  In other words,just by being you and being present you are a gift to the world and I salute you. If you are inspired to write books, run workshops, give talks and blog on the topic, well that is also very helpful to others like myself.

If you would like to know more about me and my books, go to my websire

and leave a comment for me.  I love to have feedback from my teachers!