Third party Insurance – emotional rescues

Does it work when you try to sort others out?

I get people who try to refer their partners to me for a session – and it very rarely works out.  Or they want their grown up children to get help.  Or it’s their parent or friend.  I love a referral but I need to speak directly to the person concerned – not via a third party.

When you notice yourself trying to sort out other people’s problems, stop and ask yourself:  Is this person an adult?  Are they physically and mentally able to communicate themselves?

Hard though it may be to step back, it is often the most powerful thing to do (emergencies excepted of course).  By suggesting a course of action we show concern.  But if we try to ‘organise’ a course of action for someone else it often fails because it is not empowering for them.  They may feel like you know the answers and they don’t.  So step back.  Let them come to you for advice by all means and share your opinions wisely.  Then take a deep breath and climb back into your own energy, your own power and sense of self.  This offers the other person a space to breathe themselves.

The most powerful and healing tool in the work I do is the power of my own Presence (my achingly alive awareness of the present moment and of the profound inner self who speaks through me at these times).  Cultivate your own sense of Presence.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.

To book a  coaching session  on Skype email her:

 frances@innerbodywisdom.co.uk

To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

Do you get irritable and annoyed with yourself?

Tough day?  Could be you are suffering from your inner critic.

Just one of those days?  or  a repeating pattern in your life.  It’s just how I am – or could I change this pattern of irritation and annoyance?

Your inner critic is a learned response to stress.  I bet you had a critical mum or dad (and bless them, because they were doing their best and so are you.)

Let’s see if we can work out what the pay off is.  Say to yourself ‘When I criticise myself it …..’  Could be in a strange way it relieves the tension for a moment (but does it create more in the long term?)  Could be it is a habit – something you do as a displacement activity when you can’t grasp a task or haven’t the energy to work out a solution.

Once you realise that this inner critic saps life energy and can become a habit that sends you on a downward spiral you may decide to observe it more closely.  Let it rip – do not try and stop it or it will go underground to emerge even stronger.  Get help from a trained therapist.  Talk to a good and wise friend.  Notice if anyone in your circle of family and friends is also critical of you.  What is inside of us tends to get reflected outside too.  The universe is there to help us see ourselves for the radiant beings of light we truly are.  The inner critic is the voice of ignorance and despair.  Would you want that to continue on and on in your mind space?  No, I thought not.  By observing the inner critic you are stopping sending it unconscious energy.  You are reversing a habit that is unhelpful.  You are gaining self knowledge.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.

To book a  coaching session  on Skype email her:

 frances@innerbodywisdom.co.uk

To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

How to avoid unnecessary dramas

Be the watcher in your life

Having a few too many dramas lately?  Wondering who to blame and how to get back a sense of balance and sanity?

Take a moment and sit with your hands resting on your lap.  What I am going to tell you will reduce your life dramas significantly.

The dramas we create each day come from our ego self – the bit of me and you that thinks the world is a tough and ugly place full of difficult people.  Ego thinks in terms of threat, competition, crisis, manipulation and winning at all costs.

How you change that drama inducing scenario is by becoming the Watcher of your mind and ego activity.  You begin by sitting quietly for five minutes a day and observing the thoughts in your mind as they pass through.  That shows you the program Ego is currently running as a background app to your life.  It is powerful.  It is subversive.  It will run your life if you let it.  Don’t.

Instead take the training course that means you become the Watcher in your life.  Five minutes a day is a small price to pay to regain control over the dramas.  They simply slow down and then stop once you take the immense step of observing your thoughts and daily actions.  And if the dramas continue?

Bless them.  They are the clearest message you will ever have that you are an unconscious human being.  All of humanity is on a pathway to consciousness.  That is our evolutionary pattern.  Your choice to wake up and be a conscious being – is it going to be now or later?

If you chose later as your option your ego made that choice.  The ego imagines we have a future.  It depends on it.  In reality we have this moment and this moment alone to be the consciousness that is love without end.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of sharing Innerbody Wisdom.

To book a  coaching session  on Skype email her:

 frances@innerbodywisdom.co.uk

To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

 

 

 

 

I can’t stop thinking – it’s driving me mad

The biggest disease on this planet is overthinking

Let’s imagine you are sitting in bed having woken up.  You don’t feel rested or even happy.  Your mind has started up already with its endless thoughts.  But something in you knows this and is watching helplessly from the sidelines.  What to do?

That something is the real you, the wise observer that lies quietly behind everything you know yourself to be.  It is not helpless – that is just the message your mind is sending you.  So how to cure yourself of this dis-ease of the mind?  Take a moment now.  Switch your awareness away from this blogpost.  Put it instead on your breathing.  Yes, you know all this stuff already, but are you activating it in a dynamic and healing way?

Many of us know about watching the breath but how many of us do it during the day?

Here is my tip – imagine your breath is your friend and you want to say hello to your friend regularly.  Your friend is your support and your lifeline and literally, your very life itself.  You remember to breath knowingly and soon you are doing it without needing to place all your attention on it.  You begin to breathe consciously throughout the day and it warms and illuminates you.  Your mind starts to slow down.  It just can’t compete with your friendly breath.  It may try to hook you into your doubts, fears and guilt but when you notice that happening go to your breath and feel the warmth and comfort that lies there for you.

And what of the mind then?   It becomes a helpful servant, available to make lists and solve problems, but it no longer dominates.  The lack of ease experienced by most people, that can result in illness, is down to the epidemic of overthinking that has developed into the madness of our world today.

Choose not to be a part of  it.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of sharing Innerbody Wisdom.

To book a coaching session  on Skype email her: frances@innerbodywisdom.co.uk

To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

What to do in a crisis to help yourself

Why life goes pear shaped sometimes

Check this out – are you more focused on your outer material world than the inner world?Has that material world swallowed you whole like a fish? Then I can guarantee that is why a crisis has come up in your life.  Because?

Because our reason for being born is to reconnect to the Self who we really are and believe me,you are not going to find it in the material life, the everyday, the needy ego struggling to get more money, put food on the table and keep the car on the road.  No, so we get given a crisis from time to time to wake us up.  The crisis is calling a halt to the normal run of things.  It is guaranteed to stir you up and probably give you a hard time.

What to do?  Take a step back.  You need to assess the situation.  Breathe deeply into your belly and take your awareness into your body.  This takes practice, so please do not wait for your next crisis to practice this.  Do it now.  You need to establish a connection with your inner self, the one who you have neglected and forgotten all about.  Do this several times a day.  Begin to experience a sense of something deep and peaceful inside your being that is normally covered up with doing things, getting things, getting rid of things, planning how to get things and worrying about the past.  Once you get a sliver of a sense of that huge and lovely inner being that you really are you have opened the door for help, sustenance, kindness and protection.  Work at it.  It is a relationship and you need to pay attention to develop it.  Neglect it and you will lose this dimension of the divine and feel a deep sense of loss.  Some clients tell me they have had this lingering sense of loss and sadness since forever and nothing seems to fill the gap.  Well, of course not.  The stuff we desperately fill our lives with is not meant to fill the gap.   Initially relationships and material goods and experiences feel great but it all wears off eventually, doesn’t it?

So life forces us back on ourselves and we turn inwards to find what was always right there.  It was always right there because we are that peace, love and kindness we have all been searching for and not finding outside of ourselves.  The miracle is, as soon as a person turns their eye inwards and reconnects to the soul of their being, they start to express this wonderful energy and to attract it outside of themselves.  Miracles happen.  Life takes on a meaning and value that completes us.  We undergo our painful crises with a watchful eye – the eye of wisdom and knowing.  Our crises no longer take us over.  We acknowledge the patterns and rhythms of life and respect the outer world.  We are not here on earth to control the material world, but to live in it with wisdom and kindness and this is only possible when we have reconnected to the profound energies within our very own being.

Start today.  Their is no tomorrow in this story.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

Peace arises when we stop thinking

Give your mind a rest this Easter

How to do this when our minds are so active?  It all sounds such a good idea and I would love to experience more peace and contentment, says one of my clients yesterday.  How can I achieve this?  How come you are so chilled?

What I am going to share with you is very easy to do.  It is a natural function of all humans.  We are born with this capacity.

To experience peace inside at a deep level of being, focus your attention on your body for three breaths.  Notice your mind trying like mad to think, to restore its command over you.   Minds are needy.  They get cross like a two year old if you don’t pay them attention. But like a small child, minds operate best in clear boundaries with constant repetition of those boundaries.

Do this at odd moments, in a queue, when washing up, when getting into the car.  Don’t think about it, just take three breaths and smile into your feet, your hands, your back, your belly.  Try it now.  Now is the time to do this.  Not tomorrow, not in an hour. Now.

Once you re-establish the habit of body awareness you will experience more peace in your life.  Body awareness and thinking are not mutually exclusive, as the experts among you know.  You can reach a state of body awareness where thinking is possible but does not take over the whole show and obliterate the sense of profound inner peace.  Notice how the quality of your thinking then supports good decisions, wise actions and a kind heart.

 

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

To book a Skype session with Frances please email her.  Sessions cost £40 an hour.

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

Of course you are afraid!

What can I do?

Just by accepting we are human and vulnerable will help.  Take a deep breath and say ‘it’s OK, I can deal with this.’

We are human and vulnerable and very much alive.  But we are more than that.  We are divine beings of light and humour and wisdom.

There is a reason why the word HUMAN and HUMOUR are so close – because we need humour to lighten our burdens, to remind us of who we really are.  When we lose our sense of humour we are unable to access the profound inner wisdom of our deepest selves.  That place of wisdom, deep within us, can be accessed through laughter and breathing, through movement and voice.

Get up, stretch, look out of the window.  Smile (even if it through gritted teeth) and agree that you will find a way through.  If the situation demands help, get it.  Act today to right the wrongs in your life  Even sitting down and writing it down in a notebook can relieve the pressures. Inactivity and the feeling of being stuck often go together.  Spend a little more time in your inner world of dream, vision, fantasy.  Maybe you just forgot who you really are?  Don’t rely on others to validate your ‘good’ – validate it for yourself everyday.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience of teaching Innerbody Wisdom.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Success is a state of mind

Don’t struggle for recognition any more

Set your goals and then enjoy your life. Nothing done in the strange energy of lack and powerlessness ever really succeeds anyway.

Awareness of the profound inner world of your eternal being is your measure of success.  Not aware of that part of you yet?  Then take these three steps to recovering that sense of your ancient self that overcomes all lack and all fear.

Take a deep breath every half an hour and invite your body to relax.  That profound sense of Presence is often masked by deep and habitual tensions in the body

Every day close your eyes and ‘talk’ to your highest self, the best and most eternal part of you, even if you don’t believe it exists.  Do this for five minutes a day for seven days.

Write down three sentences daily. Put in what upset you, your victories, your niggles. You will get to see this passing story of your outer life and how it is not the whole of who you are.

 

Ultimate and unending success is the awareness of your profound Presence, of your eternal being.  Outer success may or may not come but it will not matter too much any more.  You will feel happier and more content and alive  and life will have enormous purpose to it.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

 

Let go of the Grouch in you

How do I swop a negative mind for something better?

Try this:  when you wake up in the morning and your mind starts up, buzz whirr clank, notice what Grouch is saying to you.  Grouch is the habitual mind that just chuggs along in the background.  Watch out because this habitual mind is controlling important life decisions more than you know!

Ok we got that.  We all live by habit and some habits help and some hinder.  So how do I let go of Grouch and why is it important for me?

Unless we notice we have no choice over the habits that rule us.  Mind likes to recreate past events even when they are bad.  Mind does not like creativity and change and risk.  It wants you to do the same things even when you know they are harming you and the world around you.  The secret to noticing is to slow down from time to time and breathe deeply.  This may feel uncomfortable and mind will send you a message that its all rubbish and just to get on because you have so much to do.  Mind likes to keep us busy so we don’t notice it is in control.

Why does it feel uncomfortable when I stop my busy day and try to focus inwards?  Why is reconnecting to my real self so hard?

Because the mind is a constructed self, a false self that we think is us.  Mind wants to be in control, to control everything in fact.  So if you have a controlling personality it is not really you, it is the mind inside you that you think is you.  When you step back from the controlling mind for a few minutes it feels edgy and odd to begin with.  This is the mind sending you messages to get you hooked back in to the false self.  Ignore them.  Keep breathing gently.  Notice how your body feels because when you are focused on your body the mind cannot be in control and you get a gateway into your real, profound, creative self.  And that is life affirming, brimming with wisdom, full of the incredible light beyond knowing.  That is the real you, not the Grouch.

Frances Lockstone is an author and coach. She  lives and works in Wales, UK and loves to share her years of experience.  To read her book on Innerbody Wisdom just click on the link below –

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Innerbody-Wisdom-Finding-presence-spiritual-ebook/dp/B00UUEPPXI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1475484739&sr=1-1&keywords=Innerbody+Wisdom

http://www.innerbodywisdom.co.uk

 

 

 

Daily Inspiration – Opportunities are Blessings — Be Inspired..!!

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings” ~Henry Ward Beecher Our daily lives are filled with delays, missed opportunities, setbacks, and outright nuisances. It happens to us all. However bad a circumstance seems and feels, it could always be worse. It may seem unnatural and perhaps […]

via Daily Inspiration – Opportunities are Blessings — Be Inspired..!!